1. "Squirrel? Well, We Have No Deal With Them!"
2. "You Should've Seen The Look On Her Face! It Was The Same Look My Father Gave Me When I Told Him I Wanted To Be A Ventriloquist!"
3. “I’m Disturbed, I’m Depressed, I’m Inadequate – I’ve Got It All!”
4. “We Have Watched You Take Our Beloved Yankees And Reduce Them To A Laughing Stock!”
5. “I Know I’m Not Cartwright!”
6. “Was That Wrong? Should I Not Have Done That?”

7. “It’s Not A Lie If You Believe It.”
8. “The Sea Was Angry That Day, My Friends! Like An Old Man Trying To Send Back Soup In A Deli!”
9. “Please, A Little Respect, For I Am Costanza, Lord Of The Idiots.”